I talk about two ways of defining rape culture and explain why the milder version is still disturbing and is clearly at play in my social circles (U.S. middle-to-upper-middle class millennials in a university setting). I look at the realm of dating to argue that notions of male superiority contribute to a rape culture and discuss alternative ways to frame dating to avoid naively absorbing this rape culture.
I talk about my struggles with understanding romantic love, my current mental model of what romantic love consists of, and detail what I hope are insights I've gained from my struggles.
It's possible that people might think that looks and smarts trade off. In this post, I talk about where this false dichotomy seems to be at play, why one might intuitively believe it, why such a belief is mistaken, and why this belief can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem and one's relationships.
When people talk about incels and when incels talk about their plight of being sexless, there is a temptation to focus exclusively on the sexual aspects, and understandably (given the name of the community) that seems to be what it's all about. In this post I discuss the emotional, social, and cultural aspects of having sex and being in a romantic relationshp and how reducing the incel problem to sex obsession is not honest, moral, or helpful.