I talk about two ways of defining rape culture and explain why the milder version is still disturbing and is clearly at play in my social circles (U.S. middle-to-upper-middle class millennials in a university setting). I look at the realm of dating to argue that notions of male superiority contribute to a rape culture and discuss alternative ways to frame dating to avoid naively absorbing this rape culture.
I talk about my struggles with understanding romantic love, my current mental model of what romantic love consists of, and detail what I hope are insights I've gained from my struggles.
It's possible that people might think that looks and smarts trade off. In this post, I talk about where this false dichotomy seems to be at play, why one might intuitively believe it, why such a belief is mistaken, and why this belief can wreak havoc on one's self-esteem and one's relationships.
When people talk about incels and when incels talk about their plight of being sexless, there is a temptation to focus exclusively on the sexual aspects, and understandably (given the name of the community) that seems to be what it's all about. In this post I discuss the emotional, social, and cultural aspects of having sex and being in a romantic relationshp and how reducing the incel problem to sex obsession is not honest, moral, or helpful.
This book is a detailed analysis of the puzzle of why (some) marriages in the U.S. are becoming increasingly unstable. It argues that changes in job opportunities create bifurcated marriage markets which lead to bifurcated marriage behavior. In doing so, the book touches on issues of gender, race, and class, and argues that this bifurcated marriage behavior can exacerbate societal inequality.
I talk about what Nice Guy Syndrome is, the faulty mental model I think causes it, and how that faulty thinking is reinforced by fairly commonplace and uncriticized portrayals of romance.
This book is a look at the traits and mindset of abusive men. Some of its insights are surprising and shed light on why domestic abuse is so hard to detect and treat.